Sorry to keep going on. I am playing a mighty game of ping pong with myself. I feel like I am self-sabotaging this whole thing. I feel like my feelings are getting in the way of rational thought and that I am still mighty prone to doing something stupid, like making ultimatums when I get home. I am so tired of this. I don't want to give up at all, I just want to know what the right thing to do is, and for the longest time, I have. Now, I don't know. I don't even know that it would be wrong of me to snoop and look at her "calls made" to see if she's called him recently. She says she doesn't call him at all. I KNOW she could be calling him and it NOT mean what I think it does, but then again, I think maybe I am in total denial about where things stand.
I feel SO irrational right now and I hate it. I HAVE to control this but at the same time, I don't want to deny my feelings either. I am SO freaking confused.
Part of me hopes this is all in my head and the other part knows that if that's the case, I am almost back to square one. What do I do.
I am good at giving you all advice because standing back, far away from your sitches, it's easy for me to see what I think you should do. THIS close to my own sitch, I can't see anything clearly.
