I am wondering if you are just being more direct/detailed but really saying the same things OT and NM. If you are, then I should just do more of the same because what you are saying to do is pretty much what I am doing. I am ALWAYS ok with her if she gets "pissy", which BTW, she rarely ever does.
Here's a good example of the "new me" and what kinds of things I do these days.
W was on my computer looking at something I brought up for her to see. Actually, we had a SLIGHT argument over something that was in her information for the DUI class. She thought it said one thing, I thought another. I managed to get the form up online and she wanted to look it over...
So, I came up to her and slid around her into my chair. She was still standing back, and off to the side. I turned around, grabbed her around the waist and pulled her onto my lap, continuing to hold her around the waist. I moved my hands up her back and to her hair. When I first grabbed her, she protested but then laughed when I finally got her on my lap. She then read the screen for a few minutes and when it was time for her to get up, I stood up, picked her up and gently stood her up with a kiss on the neck (yea, I know OT, but it's the closest I can get to her mouth that isn't her cheek, lol). She once again protested but giggled when I put her down...then nothing else for the rest of the night, not that I expected anything.
Your point about taking no the first time she "says" it is a good one, but as I have posted before, I grew up in a time and under parents who stressed that no meant no. Maybe I take that too far, maybe not. I know that with all these encounters there is a CLEAR time when my W gets uncomfortable and lets me know that she wants me to stop. That doesn't keep me from trying the next time, but it does stop me THIS time.
Anyway, the chair thing was preceeded by me telling her that she looked REALLY hot in the shirt she was wearing. She was in her night shirt and did look GREAT. She didn't reply, seeming embarassed.
The point is that I DO these things, and maybe she's being affected, I don't know.
You are saying to keep it up, to keep up the physical stuff and give her time to react.
I think you may be right, and also that you are agreeing with OT/NM but I can't help but feel considering all that I have already done, some R talk may be in order to clear the air.
Thank you for your posts. They have given me even more to think about.
