Shipd, I give her a massage EVERY night, most of the time at her request, sometimes with lotion/oil, sometimes not. That's how sex USED to start with us and she HATED it. She hated that I would always just "go a little too far" with my massage and we'ed "end up" having sex. So I am a little reluctant to go that route.
I think she DOES want it to be natural but since it has been SO forced in the past, I think some open, honest discussion is needed here so that we are both understanding what the other wants, and what the barriers are to getting it.
I have been using the "ramping up the heat" method for some time now and it has gone nowhere. I really can't tell you the number of different things I have done. I have been creative, let me tell you that. I have been creative in what I say to her and how/when I touch her. She just seems blocked off to it all, and I want to know why because it is starting to feel bad for me to even try anymore.
I DO have more left in me but these days where I wake up frustrated cannot continue for much longer. Something has to give, and if I have not said it today, I will say it now, that something is NOT necessarily sex, it just needs to be either open, honest communication or SOME kind of spark from my W in response to any of the dozens of things I do on a daily basis to "let her know" how I feel.
