NM -- **GREAT JOB** communicating about your weirdness :-) I bet it did catch him off guard. It is great when you can report on yourself without trying to predict and/or manage his response to your report. That, actually, allows for increased intimacy because it allows you to be much more authentic in any R between you and SO.
Ok OT, backhanded point WELL taken. I think I am going to go away very confused and unsure of myself. I was SO sure I had a plan that was going to work. I guess not. I see what you are saying and understand where I have gone wrong. Damn.
Quote: Actually, I think in my sitch, yes; in yours, a resounding NO. I firmly believe that in your sitch that your W needs (wants?) to be shown you can be passionate.
Know what ladies, maybe the simple, sad truth is that I can't be passionate because I just don't understand what that means I am supposed to do right now. I just don't. I try to kiss her, and I mean really physically try and she turns away or pulls away. I try to talk about what I want and she changes the subject.
WTF!!!!!!! Is the only thing you guys think I should do is just rip off her clothes and "do" her? Is THAT what you mean? Because if it's anything short of that or having a R talk, something that I have tried not to do, I THOUGHT I was already doing that.
ISN'T THERE ANY room in this for HER to be the issue here and NOT what I am doing or not doing. I mean, I feel like a total waste of a man the way you are saying I am not being "passionate". I f--king AM being passionate, 1000% more than I ever was before and it's MAKING NO VISIBLE DIFFERENCE in her. Maybe it is but I am just not seeing it. I don't know anymore. Maybe you are right and this just won't work because if I have to be much more "different" than I have already started to be, then maybe I don't belong in this marriage. I need to be me with some changes, not an entirely different man.
I AM passionate but have done a HORRIBLE job of expressing that to my W over the past several years. I DID do a good job early on, and that's what I am back to now. It worked for her back then (I think) and I guess I am just wrong to think it may now.
Please, forgive my outbursts today. I am feeling it a LOT today and maybe it's best if I don't post so much at the moment.
OT, NM, I WILL think about what you are saying. Yes, it hurts a LOT, and I do disagree with you on a lot of your points but I know you are trying to help and so I will carefully consider what you are saying.
Thank you both, even if it seems like I didn't like your posts, you know I needed to hear it.
