GH, we are in a VERY similar sitch. Bomb dropped around the same time, entered this forum about the same time etc....
Anyway, IMHO you and I are giving too much energy to our lack of a physical relationship. We see people here that have very similar sitch's but they are still ML. That hurts, ALOT. I believe our spouse's cannot face the hurt and pain that they have inflicted on us. They cannot believe that we are still here, loving them. They don't feel like they deserve it after all that they did. They truely love us and our little family. They want it to stay together, they just need more time to process all of their feelings. We CANNOT put anymore pressure on them. I know this sounds like I am some sort of freak, but there are other ways that we can make ourselves feel good ,ya know what I mean? Go out and enjoy life, you really never know how long we will be on this earth. Enjoy the sunshine and your kids laughter - take pictures of them just being kids. Everything will work out - just BELIEVE!