Wow, again, I ALMOST shed the tear and if I was not at work, I would most likely have. I don't know about the God sent part, but I am trying to help. I am glad to have been able to do so in your case thus far. Keep plugging away and I, along with the rest of this motley crew, will keep an eye on you.
Shouldn't we nominate you for moderator or sumpin'?
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
Um...gee...that would seem like responsibility and, well, who wants MORE of that, lol. That post by OT to the moderators last week probably scared me enough to not want to do that anyway.
BTW, OT, do you know if that turned out ok? I got the gist of what was going on. Pretty scary.
I'm kinda out of the loop, but did it have something to do with someone hijacking a user name?
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
I was reading your responses on Mamabear's thread. I tried to kiss W last weekend and she said she was not ready for that and would tell me when she was. Then the next morning I cuddled with her in bed (did not spend the night or anything). I am the one who intiates any contact. She does not. I had her convinced that any contact with her was going to lead to sex. Maybe touching her and cloying attempts to be affectionate are a bad idea right now. I would love to do a date night with her and I and watch a movie and jsut cuddle. Anyway your thoughts?
Quote: This is now feeling like some sort of protest speach, lol.
yes, this is the Berkeley child of the 60's coming out But thanks also for this
Quote: that's a GREAT challenge to all of us, to define who WE are, both within and without our marriages.
that's what I'm up to - clarification of who I am, and what matters most, what I truly believe and am committed to. Thanks for being with me on that road.
PositivelyListening ************************************** When one door of happiness closes, another one opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. - Helen Keller
Everything is status quo, which is not really that good but it's MUCH better than the alternative. I want more but there are just several things blocking progress right now, mainly W's DUI stuff. The few times I have seemed to broach the subject of "progress" she immediately goes to the "I'm too stressed now to think about that." I think it's a cop-out but I am willing to give it the few more weeks I think it will take to truly put that behind us.
That's NOT to say I will be able to hold off a R talk before then. I think clarifying where we are and what we both want may be in order because while things are "good" I want MUCH more than that and I want to know she does too. Hell, she obviously does or she would not have done what she did. I just need to figure out how we get from where we are to where I want to be...and whether she wants to be there with me.
As for my C, I could not get another appt with her until the 22nd so my "issues" will have to be handled solo until then. No biggie.
Thanks for checking in on me and I wish you luck in your similar troubles.
GH, we are in a VERY similar sitch. Bomb dropped around the same time, entered this forum about the same time etc.... Anyway, IMHO you and I are giving too much energy to our lack of a physical relationship. We see people here that have very similar sitch's but they are still ML. That hurts, ALOT. I believe our spouse's cannot face the hurt and pain that they have inflicted on us. They cannot believe that we are still here, loving them. They don't feel like they deserve it after all that they did. They truely love us and our little family. They want it to stay together, they just need more time to process all of their feelings. We CANNOT put anymore pressure on them. I know this sounds like I am some sort of freak, but there are other ways that we can make ourselves feel good ,ya know what I mean? Go out and enjoy life, you really never know how long we will be on this earth. Enjoy the sunshine and your kids laughter - take pictures of them just being kids. Everything will work out - just BELIEVE!
But thanks also for this 
,ya know what I mean? Go out and enjoy life, you really never know how long we will be on this earth. Enjoy the sunshine and your kids laughter - take pictures of them just being kids. Everything will work out - just BELIEVE!