Quote: Unfortunately (and I'm not the first to notice this), there ARE those on this board who interpret DB'ing as a passive thing. They are either unable or unwilling to self-evaluate. They don't really GAL. They don't experiment and monitor results. They don't do 180's.
Yes yes yes. Or maybe they (myself included) do these things, but it is more to see if it is noticed, rather than using them as tools for self-evaluation. I think that the hardest thing for us to do is detachment, and even though we may move into a less reactionary mindset, we are still kinda doing the same old thing.
Speaking for myself, (while knowing it applies to many) it is one thing to read DB and try to do a few changes for yourself, or maybe demonstrate that you've made changes that in fact you have not (that's me), or attempt to GAL by mixing up your routine a little, or maybe even trying to incite jealousy. I think that what is so hard to grasp is the true concept of detaching, and releasing control, and truly, honestly focusing on your self. Without that, of course you want to give up, because nothing changes. Without that, your spouse KNOWS that you are waiting for them, hinging your movements on their actions, so the efforts being made have short-lived results.
