Thanks for expanding and simplifying my rant. I should probably apologize for getting on my soap box but I am just tired in general and I thought it may do more good to just get that out of of my system and move on.
I HATE to see people giving up just when it seems like their situations warrant MORE effort, not less. You know, I was involved in a little debate on Muddle's thread about the "passive" nature of DB. Well, if you DB only until it hurts too much, then give up, then I guess they're right, it IS a passive thing.
I'd rather think of DB as one of the LEAST passive things you can do. You are not passive to your WAS, your emotions or anything else. You are MAKING hard decisions that are certainly not for the weak of heart and THAT to me is the sign of strength, NOT just giving in to anger, pain and despair. Giving in is what our WAS did and I WILL NOT DO THAT. If I decide to give up, it will not be in a time of pain, anger or despair (I hope). It will be because I know it's the best thing for me to do based on me exhausting all my options and giving my best effort to save my marriage. Just like the rest of you (well, most of you anyway) I hate to quote the good Dr. Phil but I too feel like I need "earn my right to quit" and my W having an affair is not enough credit in that bank.
There I go again...sorry. I really want to stop now. I am putting the soapbox away and taking a break for a bit...
