Well, when I look at her, she still looks like my W. It’s only after talking with her for a few minutes that I realize that I’m having a conversation with someone else.
Oh,I'm sorry to hear that! I definitely wouldn't consider letting her move upstairs now. I would probably be tempted to let OM have her at this point. Of course I'm probably NOT the best example of Dbing, so maybe you'd better go with what you think is best.
I was talking about the jeans. Arguing with a two year-old is not my idea of fun.
Do you have any plans? Again, I'm really sorry! ((((John)))) rayanne
When My H wanted to come home and work on the relationship I told him he couldnt come home until he dedicated all four seasons to me and the children. By dedicating himself to us for that year it allowed me to fall in love with him again and it gave him a chance to say he was sorry and prove to us all that this is really where he wants to be. My H has been home 6months now we are still working on the relationship but his anger is gone. Even with the children. I remember one night my daughter was really angry why are you letting Daddy sleepover. She ran upstairs hysterical, we brought her down and she was able to scream how angry she was at him and that she will never love him again for what he did to this family. He was able to say I understand how you feel I do love mommy and I want to come home soon. I hope one day you can say you love me. I was then able to say to my daughter, mommy is being very careful, if at any point I feel daddy is not interested in dedicating himself to us he wont be able to come home. Loretta
Thank you Loretta, but putting a time limit on falling back in love may be interpreted as pressure. I told my W to take as long as she needs to sort things out. This will give her the chance to see that I have changed without giving her any time constraints.
Anger from the kids is a tough thing to deal with, especially when the anger is pointed at you. You cannot minimize their feelings. There was a time when my daughter said that she would never speak to mom again. I explained to her that that’s how she feels now but her feelings would change when she wasn’t as angry. Sure enough, she has been gradually coming around.
Last night turned out to be very interesting. I was annoyed about the OM call so I was acting a little cool with my W. She didn’t work last night so she just went to sleep at about 9pm. I went to bed at about midnight and said nothing to her. She turned over to kiss me good night and one thing led to another….
She did not return my ILY, but was very affectionate. Don’t get me wrong, I am thrilled, just a bit confused. Something to do with the OM call, do you think?
John, That's a very good question. It will be interesting to see what happens next. I would just keep my eyes and ears open and not assume anything. Nice as the sex is, I would be really careful the next few days, so as not to overwhelm her. You don't want her backing way off again. Glad you had a nice night!
I thought that you would have some insightful answers for me. Your advice is well taken. I’m going to take it very cautiously and make no assumptions.
Rob, it’s great to have you back. Don’t give up hope. If you read my stuff, you’ll see that I was on the verge of throwing in the towel a couple of times. Stay strong and don’t listen to what people tell you. I know that I have a long road ahead. This is just a step in the right direction. Stay strong.
Last night she wouldn't let me touch her, so I just backed off. Told her what a wonderful time I had the night before and she said that it was allright but she needed to get used to me.
This morning before I left for work, I complimented her on the outfit that she was wearing and gave her a nice hug and kiss. She seemed kind of surprised. Maybe she thought that I would be annoyed that she didn't let me near her during the night.
I re-read the advice to newcomers this morning. It's really good stuff and I need some reinforcement every once in a while.
