Friend: I'm so sorry to hear that things are not going so well and it is SO difficult. I send a hug too (((Friend))).
I know that everyone on MLC hates to hear this but they should read your post. If they think their spouse will come back and it will be a bed of roses - even after 5 years - it is highly unlikely.
If you can work through this, Friend, you truly deserve a medal. If he ever becomes the man of your dreams again - then you've proved something to the rest of us. I just so wouldn't want my ex back for all the tea in China.
Hang in there for another day. How do your girls feel about it all? My kids HATED it when their dad moved home.
Oh I hate to see that you are going through a tough time with this. I've read it before that this part is really hard, but I guess I didn't realize how hard. But remember that it's worth a try - that's all, a try. I do hope things get better for you, no matter which way it goes.
Well, here's the lastest. I found out the Ex is still seeing FUG..............my daughter told me because he told her. He said his therapist told him to be honest with me. He also told him he wanted his cake and eat it too. lol
I know some of you won't understand this, but I just can't do it anymore. Even though my head was telling me I should, my heart was telling me I couldn't.
He understood...........but really didn't want me saying that. He says he's still trying to figure out why he never closed the door on us, and I told him, I really understood, but I couldn't continue to see him if he was still seeing her, and not putting a 100% into working on us. And that I WAS closing the door.
I told him I truly understood what he was going through but that it didn't take away the pain. And that if in the future he wanted to try and he could honestly say she was gone, gone for good. Maybe then.
So now I will be going back to Surviving, my home away from home. lol I'm ok, I really am. Once again not in Limbo Land, although once again hurt, this time it's not anything like the first.
P.S. Hey Barb, you said I deserve a medal, I think I deserve to be committed! lol
"I told him I truly understood what he was going through but that it didn't take away the pain. And that if in the future he wanted to try and he could honestly say she was gone, gone for good. Maybe then."
It was interesting to read that your heart is saying shut the gate and your head is saying be receptive. Usually it's the other way around.
In my mind, what you have decided is the best thing. Not only for you but for everyone. You are too good a woman to share a man with another female. You deserve better, you deserve exactly what it is that you want.
You've drawn the line in the sand. Your Ex knows exactly where you stand on this. He also knows now that what he wants, he can't have. He's going to have to make a choice now.
Suit
"It's better to have no spouse than have a bad spouse"
I'm so sorry that you had to make the decision for him once again. You're right---you deserve someone that is willing to give you 100%, and no, you don't deserve to have to share your man. Your X wasn't ready to put his whole heart into this---too bad for him. He lost the best woman and ended up with a FUG. Hopefully the man will come to his senses before you have found someone that sees what a catch you are.
Your X is an idiot.
You know that I know exactly what you are going through. You will recover quicker this time, trust me. Not that that makes it any easier. I guess what makes me angry is the fact that he put you through it all over again. And I still don't understand why these men can't seem to give up the FUG's and the toothless old hags. What they see in them, I will never know.
Right now I feel like all men are pigs. I know that there are good men out there (sorry to those of you out there reading)--but I haven't seem to run across any in a while. The good ones seem to be married--but then they lose their minds and leave their wives and kids for some nasty bimbo. Guess I've even lost my trust for knowing what a 'good one' really is.
Friend, sorry to get off subject. I just wanted you to know that I support your decision, and think that you handled it in the best way that you could of. You have to watch out for yourself, and I think that you explained your feelings to him well. You told him what you needed from him.
