Cristina, Hopefully she has said good things about me! Speaking of Friend---Where the heck are you!!! I know you're out there. Time for an update!
I've been thinking of calling you. Having a rough few days--holidays and all. Just didn't think it might be the right time for you. You have enough on your plate without my whining.
Anyway, please let us know what's going on. I need to get your e-mail next time we talk. Maybe we could keep in contact a little better.
Do you suffer much during holidays too? I though I was the only one. It's always a major setback for me. My EX has been very nice lately - my heart gets goin' with that also.
Hey, first off Cristina I've gotten both your messages and you didn't leave your number and if we exchanged numbers when we saw each other I lost it. lol Next time leave your number and I will call you back.
DNO, I've thought about calling you often just havent gotten the time.............but I will.
Ex is moving out of FUG's next Tuesday, he will be staying at my house for a week, while I am gone. I'm going to California with my mom. When I get back he is moving into a hotel..................for how long, we have no idea.
He wants to come home, he wants his family back, he said he was so depressed when he left he wasn't himself, and now knows whats really important in life. Says he will do anything to prove it to me. Says he'll go to counseling, says he will reassure me all the time. Says I will never have to worry about the O/W. Says he has never stopped loving me. Says I know him better then he even knew himself then and now he sees things so much clearer. He is on medication. He says all the right things, now I'm watching he actions, and so far he is finally taking some.
I still have my expectations low, I'm still alittle apprehensive, but I truly believe he has finally come out of where ever the place he was, and is truly sincere and I think has finally gotten the strength to do what he says.
Says he has wanted to come home since about a year after he left, just didn't see how to do it. Felt like 3 different people in his mind.
What do I do...............I just listen, and watch, I try to remember all the things I learned from Michelle's books and from this board. I stay calm, I reassure myself I will survive no matter what, I have proven that.
Funny thing is, I have always felt we would some day be back together, probably because from the very beginning he always said things to me that made me feel that. Always crying, always remorseful, asking me if we could date.
What a journey, what a trip!!! I know it's not over yet, but I am looking forward to getting to know each other again and having my family back together.
Speaking of family, that's going to be a trip in itself when they all find out, lol, but I'm sure they will all come around and be supportive, they always have been.
So anyway, that's what's been happening!! Unbelievable huh, well, I leave for California, Tuesday the 11th, I'll be back on the 18th............and then another part of my journey will start beginning...............looking forward to it being a hell of alot more fun then the first part.
Wish me luck..............please continue to pray for me, and rest assure you both are in my prayers too.
Friend, What wonderful news!!! I am so happy for you---but I also know that you are approaching this very carefully. I honestly don't know how you rebuild something like this. Patience--forgiveness--communication. I hope that your X is putting his whole heart and soul into this for you. You deserve nothing but happiness.
My fingers and toes are crossed for you. And I will keep you and your X in my prayers.
"I need him to move out of there, I need him to tell me he only wants me and he's sorry for everything he's done. I need him to be a man and have the strength to do whatever it takes. I need to believe him. "
I think it is looking promising and if I were you, I'd be willing to open my heart (if only just a little).
Following your sitch has taught me a valuable lesson and that is, when a MLCer starts making the first tentative moves back, you can't entertain them because they run back into the tunnel. Tell them "you don't think that you are ready right now" and I think that will motivate them to complete the excursion. After running back before, maybe he is at the end of his excursion and leaving OW is a HUGE step. He's nearly ready but I hope you don't let him back into the house (with you) just yet. If you are watching, there are alot more things you want to see (and hear). A heck of alot.
You are a wonderful woman for what you have achieved over the last 5 years. Make sure you post often because I'll be reading everyone of them.
Suit
"It's better to have no spouse than have a bad spouse"
actions speak louder than words I am having a little of an internal turmoil because I am waiting for words.. words that he is really sorry and wants to work on M?? The words that I currenly get is that I gave him no choice, and that is very hard for me to swallow. Makes me feel really unloved and unwanted...
Actions-wise.. he does call everyday, and did start process of getting family to join him eg schools, searching for house, introduced us to his important customer, gone on short holiday with me on his birthday ... etc etc..
But words?? Words? He says that ow will ALWAYS be his friend. *sigh* I gave him no choice.... He feels happier with ow... ??? Or am I unreasonable to keep on dwelling on what he said in the past?? Please be honest....
Sorry for hijack... not being myself these few days One Day at a TIME!!!
All I can tell you is this. Get on with your own life, don't worry about what he says or what he does. Start thinking about only you! Then no matter what the outcome you will be a better you.
Really, I've been going through this journey for five years and if I hadn't gotten my own life, if I had just stayed around waiting on him to make a move, I would off missed out on alot.
Noone knows what the future holds YoYo, but I do know this, you need to think of yourself, how to make you happy, do things that are right for you, do things that make you a better person...................then if he comes back or not you will be that much better off.
Wait Yoyo, I might be alittle confused, are you and you H living together? If so, there's no way I would be back with mine if he said him and O/W have to stay friends. No way! Doesn't work with three people Yoyo, just doesn't.
