John, Having been divorced over a year now, I know how bad you would like to get an apology or admission of guilt. I guess my question is ..What would that really solve? Yes, perhaps you would feel better and maybe vindicated. Kids would know that adults could admit there mistakes.
From the wifes point of view its not possible right now. Admit to your kids your wrong? What do they know? Sadly more then your wife gives them credit for. I hate to say this but perhaps you need to let wife and D work things out themselves and stop protecting them. Your D has some things to get off her chest with mom and holding it in for the better of all might just cause her to overload. Not only that if you keep stepping in the way, your wife will think you created this mess and now your trying to clean it up. I think you should tell your wife in the nicest possible way that your D has her own mind and she is mad at her and SHE needs to straighten out things with her. To leave you out of it. And for your D's sake, her anger is not misplaced and she needs an outlet. She also needs to know that in order to forgive her mother she should also forgive you for not seeing that mom was unhappy and steps should have been taken awhile ago to perhaps prevent all this from happening. Then maybe D will see that no one here is at fault. Your wife made a choice she has to live with and you are making one also to stay with her. Alot of patience, understanding and healing are in store here. My ex says she is still healing, a year later. Rondo.
