John, I'm almost in a parallel sitch w/ you as far as state of affairs w/ your W. My W finally went out on a date w/ me after being dark for 2 months and then she filed for D a month ago. We had a visit last week, and went well, then she asked me out to lunch the following day. Day after that we went on a date - out to dinner and then comedy club. Also went great. Two days later she called me to ask if I would take care of our dog while she went on a business trip. No problem. But when I got over there, she was very withdrawn, much like you describe. The affection that was there during the weekend had disappeared.
At this point I am backing off as much as I can. I am not going to call her, or ask her for more dates. She still needs space, as may be the case for your W too. My W also said some "what if" statements about reconsiling, but no guarantees. We need to just stay happy ourselves and let them continue to sort things out.
