KentS, I understand that this R thing takes time and it is a slow process, but how do we know if we are heading in the right direction? Is there a “thing” I can measure or see about the progress? I know it is an ongoing effort but don’t you think marriage is for two people?
ANS, I realize no M is ever perfect. Every couple one way or another have gone through certain crisis, but they also learned from their mistake and improve their R “together”. I do believe that once my wife puts both of her feet in the marriage pool, our R would improve significantly, but for now I think our R progresses as a snail. That’s where I’m afraid of, not that my wife would have another affair or something, but I’m afraid of me. I mean I might end up losing my love for my wife as time goes by and that by the time my wife realizes it, it is a little too late. That’s a force that I’m fighting from within right now.
Jamesjohn, I only hope that it isn’t a train, but I don’t know for sure at this stage. You might not realize until it comes very close and hits you. By then, it is too late. You wrack.
It could be just me. Somehow I don’t feel good about this whole thing nowadays despite the warming trend. Sometimes I feel like I have no feeling left for my wife and want nothing to do with her. I know that detaching from her seemed to work from the past month or so, but I don’t think it was flying very well with her. It worked in term of making her feel concerned about me, but it might build her resentment or anger at the same time.
In a sense, I think I still don’t know what I want exactly in this relationship with my wife. I don’t want to be married to “her name”, I want to be married to her and I don’t want to spend the rest of my life sleeping alone like I have had for the past 11 years.
