Well, made it through the holidays. Things were pretty good, much better than where we were last year!! I keep telling myself that I am happy, but sometimes I find myself wondering. I think it's just remembering where he was last year.
Another thing that I didn't mention was that the OW lives in one of the houses we rent and also works with my H. so I know he sees her often, her office is about 20 steps from his. So I have to cash her rent check every month and wonder if he talks to her and about what. The other thing that bothers me, is his company always has a dinner dance, the only time we have missed it is when I had my daughter. Well this year we were planning to go and at last minute he changed his mind, and I can't help but wonder if he changed his mind because of her, I'm sure I'm being paranoid, but still one wonders. There have been a couple other times that something similar to this has happened. So all of this floats around in my head.
So I am trying very hard to focus on the NOW and how things are- hopefully that will get me through all of this.
