Well, I think this discussion relates to maybetime's situation so I don't feel like we are highjacking.
GG59 Limits, boundaries, it's all semantics that lead to the same conclusion - as a confident Man OR Woman, these limits garner respect from your S. Without limits/boundaries, you have no R/M "order." No one knows what is acceptable, out of line, detrimental, etc. If you have a S who is constantly taking and not giving, I say it's your own fault. Why would your S think you would "agree" to that in the first place? There had to be some history of that behavior and then a non-existent boundary/limit that was never enforced. For example, let's say your S calls you a derogatory name when you have a fight. If you don't establish that it is totally unacceptable to speak to you in that manner (walking away, leaving the house if they do not stop) then they will Learn that they can get away with it. I recall that situation from my own M way back in the day. My H and I were in a fight and I think I called him a A-hole or something like that. He made it Very clear that we are not going to start verbally abusing each other and if I did, he would just leave the room, house, whatever. I'm not even sure if we were M yet, but the boundary was Clear and I don't recall us getting verbally abusive since then. It's just Known to us that it isn't done. That's the thing with boundaries/limits. After a while, they seem crystal clear and shouldn't need explaining at all. If you feel like your W is not acting/responding to you the way you want/need, then somewhere along the way, the boundaries/limits were either never established or often broken. So looping this all back to Alpha, an Alpha man will know the boundary limit and enforce it. He is NOT a jerk about it, just makes himself crystal clear, in a clam assertive way. That is what is so attractive about the Alpha male. He doesn't play games, he doesn't change the rules, and he is confident in himself and his partner.
