LFL But when we talk about sex with Alpha's, they are just as TURNED ON as HDW. They say things like, "I bet he would be great in bed." So I know they think HD, they just don't always ACT HD in their M.
I believe you LFL. I don't know how to determine a "I rather cuddle" actual words with those hidden thoughts of some LDW have at a fleeting time.

Maybe it is not related, but when BB watches The Lifetime Channel on TV her comments about men in general follow the lines "Men are controlling/pigs/selfish. My take on the channel is they portray a lot of people ( mostly men but some women) acting out mentally unstable behaviors. It doesn't help our R, but maybe she comments on lots of things I should ignore.


Are you saying that LDW's don't want a confident/assertive man?
I know LDW (BB) wants a confident H. It is one thing I have observed first hand. Even was an issue at church one time.

I also see alpha/confidence has to be in BB's preferred form to be appreciated. If it is a different roast (think coffee) it becomes a issue to prove most men are domineering/controlling. Of course, BB is picky.

I think women will M the man they LOVE and not always the man they want to F*ck
Security vs lust. Yes I saw some TV program stating X% of kids were not fathered by the H.

Especially if they hang around other women who support that viewpoint
I have had that problem when BB worked with one woman. This woman said her H was, stubborn, not alpha, and one would think her H was not like-able. To see them in public, she was always hanging on to him. Problem was BB took her seriously (the talk part) and our R deteriorated sometimes.

It took about a year of BB seeing this couple together in public before BB told me she thought her work friend was wrong for complaining about her H. Then our R improved a little.

It still makes me shake my head when I see women acting like a good SL with their H is of little importance
I read another forum where most of the posters were left behind W's. Most said their SL's were good or their H did not care much for sex. I asked a few questions regarding turn-downs or how they opted out of sex sometimes. Almost all said they did it with respect and their H was OK with the turn-downs.

Several said the H left because the OW was younger, not that the SL was problematic. Some said they were too tired and the H should respect their lack of interest, it's their body to do as they choose.

I suggested the OW being younger might be the reason the H left, but to consider the cumulative effects of getting turned down, especially if the H was easy-going and not demanding.

Men are just as guilty as women at times.

I am Guilty LFL. A long time ago I was too busy with trying to earn money to pay for everything when BB was a SAHM. She was showing PO'ed signals but wanted sex. She told me 20+ years later.
Yes, I missed read many mixed messages. I still do because the messages are so complicated.

Sometimes I am confident and somewhat alpha even when BB talks like she does not want me to take charge. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

Lou