your words hit home though. epecially from a woman. i would have never thought women would want the sensative guy to dissappear and the alpha guy to come out more. it just seems like such a sad solution... sure i can be alpha. sure it feels natural. but does it feel like love? no. it feels like i'm making myself into the sexual animal that any jerk can be.
Oh boy, now you sound like my H. As Lil stated, you don't have to be a jerk to be a "sexual animal." But I know why you confuse the two, my H always thinks back to high school when the alpha jocks were just a bunch of A-holes to the "sensitive" guys. The sensitive guy automatically became the "nerds" or "fags" and the jocks became the "meatheads." Stupid boy stuff. Not that girls were much better. But I digress. Women certainly do NOT want the sensitive guy to "disappear" as you stated, just show more Alpha traits, mainly confidence and assertiveness. I understand that you are in a vicious circle with your F, the less she wants sex, the less confident you become. But that is just making things worse. Remain confident. Again, it is not your fault. Sure there are things you can do better and you should, but she has to own her piece of the puzzle.
it's because of her gradual removal of sex that i have become less confident and/or 'needy'. the only way back to what we were (albeit temporarily) is through drinking. which i plan to do a lot of this weekend.
Lol. BTDT. H and I used to drink to get us "in the mood" too but that's not really a long term solution. You may be able to have some pretty hot sex, maybe, but there is no intimacy involved in that and the two of you will probably still feel disconnected when not having sex. The SL should make the rest of your R stronger, not bring the whole ship down with it. Speaking from experience here, the poor SL you have now WILL affect the M. Don't kid yourself into thinking it won't be a big deal or will magically resolve itself. It takes a lot of effort and motivation by BOTH people to work it out. Just my 2 cents, again.
