I hear that. I see that all the time, where I'm sure she's withdrawn to deal with her own demons. It's exactly those times where I try to see what I can do to let her know that I support her and I'm here if she needs a friend. The bad thing is that I sometimes wish I could get her to do the same back, but she's just not ready. I mean, there are times I just wish she'd acknowledge that she's put me through hell. That she's just acknowledge that she knows I'm hurting too. Or, that she'd just let me in a little bit, and allow us both to heal a little by allowing each other to see the pain.
I see that the only way this can happen is by my offering loving support, non-judgement, and being there for her. I see that my agenda is irrelavent for now, and probably for ever. I must keep reminding myself that it's not about me. As Don Miguel Ruis says.... "don't take anything personally". (from "the four agreements"). I know that I sometimes get needy, I just have to not show it too much to her.
