I don't think you can talk about her feelings wrt OM "as a friend."
I think that when we talk to someone "as a freind", we have to be detached from the situation, and you’re intertwined to much in this area. Yes, a friend shows sympathy and empathy, but they’re not, and never were part of it.
If your W had a falling out with her best GF, she wouldn’t talk to her about it “as a friend.”
D’ya get my drift?
IMHO, this is an area you should pretty much stay away from unless she brings it up.
That doesn’t’ mean that you can’t talk about feelings – hers or yours. There’s gotta be lotsa other things happening in your lives that you can share.
But there are some things that a person just wants to work out for themselves – without support. If she wants your support on this, let her ask for it.
It could also be perceived as trying to prove that you're supportive, rather than showing true support.
