Re Lil The pilot/colonel who was much older was devoted to me, for sure. And he was somewhat emotionally available, although he prided himself on being "self-sufficient," and felt that a person's ultimate goal should be to get to the point where you do not need anyone.
‘somewhat emotionally available” sounds good and bad. Good that you had something together, but the self-sufficient part sometimes leaves an opening for a person, if the R hits a troubled spot of a certain dimension or length of time.
The "self-sufficient," sounds like military leader-ship influence. I interviewed for officer candidate training and saw several cases of grind up and dependency part of a person and spit that part out to be tough as nails.
I talk with one Vietnam vet, captain at the time, and he tells me feelings don’t count in the command he was in. Keeping people alive and doing the job is what mattered.
“he was married, which is, of course, the epitome of unavailability” So true. You don't have to commit all the way wen you can't legally.
I know, not everyone is like my comments might portray.
