Again, sorry that your mother's R with you was not better. I had a step-father some what like chroms dad and a smidgen of your mother's traits, be tough, love is for sissies. Mu mother was a good person but did not stand up to my step-dad. But that is past history.
My aunts and uncles are the MOST loving, fun, high energy people-- I went to my first family reunion the fall after my husband died, and it was soooo wonderful That is good to hear.
there is no malice in them except what is directed inward at themselves. I can understand that POV. Kind of frustrated they don't see the good in you and at the same time you feeling empathy for them and know what they are missing in life.
My mother has made a good life for herself..... where she has friends, she doesn't watch TV at all, she reads, walks every day. Given her diminished emotional resources and major emotional handicaps, she has done pretty well for herself. Well, that is a good thing to see/hear about her and a nice thing to say about her.
Meanwhile, I've been in therapy for basically ALL of my adult life coping with the fallout on me. That is somewhat sad but the first thought is it is better than drinking and avoiding the emotional feelings that cause depression or some risky behaviors some people try.
(And attracting men who are emotionally unavailable in one way or another.) Me, Hairdog and the other guys here on the forum "try" to be supportive Lil.
What about the pilot/colonel, wasn't he somewhat emotional available. I can imagine myself feeling like you as a 20 something and being with someone earlier in my life that was available to me, but because of my background (me assuming your situation/background) I might have missed the OP's availability because I did not see it or missed their availability because of our differences.
I know you put a lot of work into your R with your late H. And I know your bf has his issues and work he has to attend to (girls, XW, work).
I finished reading "Cesar's Way" The Dog Whisper, book and am making progress with the dogs but the human equivalent is more complicated. There are some cross-overs applicable to directing a human relationship.
