Quote: How would you characterize your interactions on a daily basis? Lots of deep talking or mostly light chatter?
It's virtually all light chatter. There has been almost no serious talking and introspective comments since last summer when I made my "can't be in a sexless R forever speech." Certainly I've been thinking and reading constantly and going through my own stuff, but that's been pretty much an internal process (shared here, of course, and with a few friends).
And bf agrees that we do fine on the day to day lifestyle task movie what's for dinner choir car yard dog maintenance stuff, so his comment is, "Why do we have to go any 'deeper'?" And yes, deeper is in quotes and italicized when he says it.
You're right that when I see the convo heading down the toilet, I need to go for a walk or something to break the momentum. I was dreading these people coming over for dinner because I was feeling crappy after our talk, and I knew they were newly happily married and that the wife was coming out of a ssm and now married to a guy who would gladly do it every day, so I anticipated feeling really jealous. But actually just being with other people seemed to lighten things up. It made me think that we should socialize and entertain more. We could never do that in the beginning because a) all he wanted to do was come home and drink, and b) the job he had in a retail computer store required him to work most evenings, EVERY Saturday, and some Sundays. My house in the country is perfect for entertaining.
cobra, I do mention my late husband from time to time in relation to the house and stuff, but bf has a pretty realistic picture of what my life was like. He REALLY got a good sense of it when he had the heart surgery two years ago and he realized that I went through almost 20 surgeries with my H (some as serious, some less serious) in our 10-year marriage. He is aware of the strain both of us were under... when I first met bf, I was still very much prone to panic attacks. That recent one I had was the first one in a long time.
