I don’t know that much about your bf, what he does for a living and the like. I guess it doesn’t really matter whether he is enmeshed with his mother or not as long as he is aware of it and does not carry any hostility or frustration into your relationship, which is what I think he is doing. If he is an emotional adolescent, then his behavior would fit the bill. Does he know that he does this? Has his counselor talked to him about this?
I got the impression (perhaps incorrectly) that you said you had mentioned something about your past relationship to your bf a few times. I know you don’t mean anything by it but an adolescent could take it in a different way.
BTW, when you present your bf with your demands, don’t forget that his unwillingness to make decisions on his end is what puts you in the position of having to keep bringing up the issue, to the point of it sounding like a demand. If he would have the guts or sufficient differentiation to confront his issues face on, he could lay your concerns to rest and you would not have anything to demand. So while I think he believes you are making something out of nothing, I see it as 50/50. I also think that deep down he knows this, which is why he bought a fog machine.
