Quote: That brings us to my bf. This is what I cannot figure out and what I have not been able to figure out since shortly after we got together (four years ago in August): is it him or is it me? Is he crazy. Is he mentally disturbed. Does he just do a pretty good job of masquerading as a functional person, or is he nuts. OR: am I nuts?
To give my .02 on the question which prompted your long post (a question which I am not fully qualified to answer because I am not a trained psychologist nor am I there with you, but have no hesitation in answering anyway). Your boyfriend is crazy, dysfunctional, etc., not you.
You sound like you are TOO thoughtful and seek reason in unreasonable situtations. My guess is that you come from an academic background and are always looking at the possible answers and never certain that what you are seeing is true. You want to make sure that your logic is not flawed by facts not considered or that you are not biased by your own assumptions. You sound like you may be hoping to use reason and logic with an unreasonable person as you would with some body of academic research.
Your need for connection with this man keeps you from seeing the situation as it truly is. In the end, your gut knows the truth but your mind wants undeniable proof.
