Is this how it begins?

[wed2alien]

Journaling,

All quiet on the western front!! I think I have gotten so used to chaos over the past 2+ years, that it is unsettling for things to be so calm!! I read somewhere that MLCers childhoods were like this, so used to chaos that calmness bothered them so they create their own chaos. (change cars, houses, spouses!!)

I never thought I would understand my H feelings of uneasiness when things are calm or "boring" as he'd say.
I am beginning to feel our everyday life is "boring." Just work, dealing with kids.

Even though he is around more, calls, talks about the future, I still don't feel like it is a relationship or a marriage. Is this a normal part of settling back in??

I just feel like I should be doing something, like talking about our M. (a big no no. No R talk right). But things seem at a standstill to me but maybe this is progress??

I read the other threads with the spewing, anger, arguments, etc and feel like nothing is happening here. Maybe it is. I used to want a breather like this, with no new discoveries but really I don't feel we are working toward anything.

It is a strange situation, as I feel myself describing the way my H used to say he felt our R was. Existing. Boring. Lacking passion. No fun. Not doing things together. And yet he seems to be reconnecting to the house, kids, etc. He even did housework with the kids today and is discipling them now!!! They aren't too receptive though!!

Any thoughts? Is this where patience comes in? I just fear him saying that I didn't do anything to get this marriage back on track when he said he wanted to work on it but I am afraid to talk about it!!

I apologize if I am rambling at this crazy hour!!

wed2