Sure I go out. Not a lot. I'm basicly a loner and I like to spend time by myself. I also don't go out in the evenings much because I get to go out during the day. In my field, one is more or less a "temporary" employee, or even self-employed, and works on a project by project basis. "freelance" is another term. This provides lots of free time, just no predictable schedule. So, I get out and about during the day. Evenings, I end up the designated baby sitter while W "goes out". This is close to being a doormat, but I've come to terms with it. I'm also not really interested in a lot of "night life" stuff anyway. Frankly, alcohol has been an issue in my marriage, and it's under control now and not really an issue. If I started to "go out for a few beers" from time to time, it could easily become one again...
But I suspect that's not what you mean I don't 'date'. I never have during this whole thing. I'm married. I don't 'date'. Now, there are some who suggest 'dating' as a technique to bring the WS around, to force them to face the possibility that they may loose you. I think this is playing with fire, for a bunch of reasons... One is that WS may just get mad, and feel justified in doing anything at all, including jumping into bed with the next warm body that shows interest. Another is that you might "accidentally" find someone you like better, you may find yourself where WS is now. What mess that would be. Another is that I'm leary of any technique that "forces" WS to do anything. That's coersion, and I believe it will likely only lead to resentment in the long term. Another problem is that you may "accidentally" cause someone to fall in love with you, and then you have to deal with that problem. Ever see "Fatal Attraction"? YIKES!!! And, yes, I suppose for me it would be more of an LRT than I'm interested in. It certainly says you're moving on.
And then, I'm a gutless chicken It's up to you. It's one of those things that maybe you know yourself well enough to know you can handle it.
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It's up to you. It's one of those things that maybe you know yourself well enough to know you can handle it.
