I don't know if this means anything, but I've noticed that the longer a couple hold on to the marriage the more likely they will reunite. I've noticed it here on the board, and in real life. I've seen couples run for the exits in anger and frustration, and then reunite. I've seen others cause each other so much pain on that exit that they can't get by it tho they make an attempt. I've seen here on the board people who thought it was totally over have them come back. I've seen others divorce and maintain a relationship at a level that it's still unclear whether the divorce will truly "take".

So, that said, I think it's good that we've been around so long. I always believed and believe even more now that time is my friend. I believe that if every attempt is made to work this out, we will all win, regardless of the outcome. But, I believe the chances of the outcome being the saving of the marriage is much higher the longer you can stick it out and work it out. I believe there will result a sense of common accomplishment from the joints efforts made to make it work, or to find out if it should work.

It's just so damn frustrating that it takes so long, and I believe it's because we both adjust to the possibility that it can be saved at different paces. I also believe that the WS has a much harder task to convince themselves that it's worth saving the marriage after they've convinced themselves that it's not, and shared and reinforced that conviction with whatever outside councel they've sought. There is a lot of ego issues to overcome to admit that maybe you made a mistake. I believe my wife is struggling with some of that.

What's 15 -- 16 months between friends, anyway? I've got more... It's only time, I've got more [Smile]

z

[ April 16, 2002, 12:23 PM: Message edited by: Zebra ]