Interesting points Zed Man. The whole emotional intimacy thing. I am thinking my H is in exactly the same place. He sure is giving physically - exhausting on some days [Roll Eyes] however the emotional ties and bonds I feel are no where near there.

As I type I am watching Oprah- it's a Dr Phil day... what can I say... they are talking about affairs and sex and all that stuff. The revelation for me is that until our spouses acutally "hear" or understand and "feel" our pain and sense of betrayal they just don't "get it" and we still have a hard time closing the book or truly forgiving. I think that may be where I am at.
H doesn't feel that his emotional fantasy EA was a betrayal... never mind he was headed for a lot worse - because he didn't actually "do" anything. It may be he will never acknowledge it as such, or understand my feelings at all.
Perhaps your W is in a similar place.

It's figuring out how to get through it or deal with it in a way that brings the marriage truly back together in spite of their walls and barriers.

Sounds like you're doing a decent job of it.

I too have pretty much stopped snooping and hovering and all that stuff. It is rather liberating isn't it.

keep in touch
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