The "deadline" of Jan 15 has come and passed. She's still here. Sometimes we're close, sometimes we drift apart. We seem to "bounce" off each other -- when things start to look like they are going well, suddenly, she withdraws and distances. Long ago, I noticed similar behavior at times I knew she was "seeing" the OM regularly, and I started to think of it as an OM hangover. Well, two weeks ago, and then again at the beginning of this week when she started on one of those distancing routines again, I broke down and drove by his house. Sure enough, each time there was her car... My sensing an OM hangover was right on the mark.
So, now, I truly believe the PA has been scaled back to an EA, though it could reignite any minute, if she decides to stop "trying to work on" our marriage. I believe this kind of thing has been going on the whole time she's been trying, he being among her primary support while she struggles through "trying". Talk about 10 steps forward, 9 steps back, and trying to put our a fire with gasoline.
So, I want to confront this OM contact, and put a stop to it. She's said she won't see him. She's said she'll work on the marriage. I don't believe she can do that effectively while still in contact with him, nor can she fully allow herself to open up to me and trust me as long as she continues to act untrustworthy and lie herself. I'd love anyone's thoughts on the pros and cons of a confrontation, and if you think it's a good idea, suggestions on how. I'm still nowhere close to throwing in the towel, and I don't think she's fully convinced herself yet either. I don't want to push her to OM or to divorce court. Any ideas?
