Well, just to continue splitting hairs (dang, where is that electron microscope when I need it!), you and I are not exactly comparing apples and bicycles, or even apples and oranges, but maybe winesaps (my fav) and royal galas.
To return to the original example of Kenneth... when he was out first looking for magazines, and then later looking for prostitutes (who weren't there), his physical sexual arousal DEPENDED ON the unavailability of the object.
You are talking in general about "wanting" to be with your H or Hank... I'm understanding that to mean wanting in a general way, as in, "wanting to spend the evening with," "wanting to be married to," or even "wanting to fcuk/be fcuked by."
The example of Kenneth OTOH is about someone who is ONLY specifically physically sexually aroused at a specific moment by someone who is not available. So, for example, he could get an erection looking at a picture of a naked woman, but would not get an erection looking at an actual naked woman, especially if he were married to her. (Hmmm... this does sound a bit like your H...)
Truly there is a paradox in sticking with someone who does not want to be sexual with me/you, but I don't think it's the same as Kenneth's pattern of physical arousal depending on and being specifically triggered by unavailability.
There certainly is a parallel in continuing to pursue and hold out hope that someone who has shown no signs of ever being the sexual partner we want will somehow someday become that partner... gee, when I put it that way, it really sounds stupid.
The town of Rejection in the state of Frustration, U.S.A., does indeed seem to be home ground for us...
