Mojo, something like your thought occurred to me, too... all of us, whichever side we are on, are mired in frustration. The state of being frustrated, i.e. "wanting what we cannot have," feels natural to us. My "Safety" thread addresses some of the dynamics of how we get to be this way.
This may be a slight difference: It's not that "Kenneth" wants what he cannot have... yeah, in that way, he's like all of us here.
It's that he wants ONLY what he cannot have, and DOES NOT WANT the sex that's readily available from a willing partner. It is the fact that the object of desire is unavailable that is the turn-on.
This is the key to Kenneth (don't know if it applies to Photo or not):
Quote: IOW he felt most authentically himself when he was sexually frustrated.
