If your W is being ignored sexually by you....chances are she's not going to really care how you go about getting yourself in the right frame of mind to be with her....just that you do get in that frame of mind.
I cannot tell you how many times I've told my H I don't care what he does to prime himself for me...just that he does it and I reap the benefit.
Oh and....your W is your W....but in your M...she is also a sex object. The two are not mutually exclusive. That statement just reiterated to me the whore/madonna thing. I'm becoming more and more convinced that this is the frame of thinking you have.
The night I found out what my H was doing (when I confronted him about it) I flat-out told him. What he was looking at online....was me. Those women are no different than me in the respect that, I'm looking for the same type of attention that they are...only from my own H.
Photoguy....your behavior is effectively suppressing a side of your W (if she's anything like I am.) Often when we feel neglected, ignored, rejected etc. Parts of us go into hiding. I felt I had to suppress a very sexual side of myself from my H for the largest part of our M, because I was ignored etc (I felt he found that unattractive about me, or that it was pressure). The fact of the matter is that he is married to a woman that can curl his toes and rock his world.....but he discouraged me from that behavior. He was married to a woman that could easily outdo some of the women in the webcams and videos he'd seen....but he wouldn't allow her to come out.
It's very possible....you have the type of woman you are looking for under your own roof, but because she feels so painfully hurt she doesn't let that side out now. (just guessing on this from my own experience).
Out of curiosity....how do you think you would feel if you could somehow take your wife and the women you find sexually attractive....and put them into one woman? It's very likely that woman already exists right under your roof.
