Can you give us more background on you, it would be very helpful.
I'm married to someone who once told me he "just doesn't think about sex"....told me that over and over and over again (I think he even believed it himself sometimes)....only to find out this past Feb. That not only does he think about it....he was getting his needs filled in a manner that didn't require me, so I was left feeling rejected, frustrated, ignored etc.
Be honest here, you have nothing to lose right? Do you find yourself gravitating to anything sexual? Internet, magazines, movies, masturbating etc....but just not your W? Or do you honestly never have a sexual thought/action?
Have you spoken to your Dr. about this lack of libido?
Have you checked out how your diet could be contributing to your lack of libido? We had one man who was also LD on here about a year ago (CSW) who found his diet was the main contributing factor to the nose-dive in his libido. He was eating so healthy, so he thought, but after doing some research found out that one of the main things he was eating also was guilty of killing his SD.
So...give us more info, we can help guide you better that way.
Also, what have you done to try to address how this is making your W hurt. Because let me tell you, as a woman, having your mate be sexually disinterested in you....cuts to the core, it hurts in more ways than you can imagine.
It's not too late to turn things around though, you are here....you are recognizing there is an issue. You've taken a very important first step!!!
It sounds to me though since you mentioned you'd rather have meaningless sex with someone you don't know....and you also do use some porn...that you could very likely have intimacy issues. Have you considered speaking to a therapist? This is something my H has had to do....and it's taken quite some time to get to the real issue at hand, but we're finally making progress.
Have you thought about this though? You spend some time (even just a short time) at least once a week directing some energy towards something sexual....but you aren't directing that energy towards your W. Have you considered simply NOT looking at porn at all....and instead, when you have the thought to go look at porn, either going to your W or calling her? Re-direct that sexual urge (even as faint as it might feel to you) towards her.
