We danced together! At our friend's wedding Friday night [Smile] Felt really good.

Then Saturday was a little awkward (we're still not used to spending whole days together.) this brought on an OR talk that I think made more progress on the communication I was talking about in the last post. In H's words after, "We turned a corner".

It started out rough, but H asked me to read a journal he'd been writing to me, with some of the feelings he's been going through. This was pretty scary for both of us. He started out by saying sometimes things are moving too fast for him. But he said this was not a "bomb" - it was him trying to break down the barriers. It was a way to be closer. Not decisions, but thoughts. What I read was not really a surprise but still some parts were tough. He is still missing ow, sometimes when I worry that he's having doubts about us, he is. (gulp). He can feel my fear, and wants me to know he has ways of dealing with these feelings - he's not a loose cannon. Appreciates my giving space, but needs more sometimes.

After I finished reading, I thinked him for sharing it. From that point on, he was very relieved and relaxed and much more optimistic- and 10 times mroe affectionate. He said he felt this was a really turning point for us and he woudl hopefully feel a lot more comfortable - it will bring us closer.

So really good for us (like eating vegetables you hate). I ahve some feelings in the aftermath to deal with, but I am trying to remember that it was not the content that was as important as much as his intention.

Baby steps still, right? We also talked about the house- me moving back there and him moving in with parents. It's a financial thinf for him, but it really makes me sad that he's not ready for us to be there together. I am aftaid I or WE will slip through the cracks- he'll just keep moving further away...

That's it, trying to stay balanced..

LeeP