PS- more to write… about the communication hurdle…
Saturday night, we had the first OR talk in a few weeks. The hardest subject- ow. He admitted he’s been missing her and hates to “grieve in front of me” he said. Feels guilty,knows it was wrong and that he "made his bed". But he wants to let me in on those feelings more. We have to be able to open that door. It's so important.
I had some things to say about her too – not angry- more about my curiosity. We tried something weird (his suggestion) - he told me he had a box of things and some photos she’d given him and he brought it out for us to look through together. It was such a vulnerable thing for us both to do. I was so aware of that - kind of speechless really. Tried to stay neutral. Just let him talk a bit and rubbed his back. We both ended up crying. I genuinely felt sad for him, actually. (weird) We didn’t get though all of the photos. And we were both kind of raw after. I thanked him for sharing with me, trusting me, and he really appreciated that. We tried to do something fun after to change the mood. Not sure if it was good or bad yet. I think good.
