Sounds to me like you're both doing great. Apr 24 you listed a bunch of stuff that you're doing, and you're right. It is working.
quote:Originally posted by LeeP: We're at the 4 week mark- I was jumping out of my skin a little over the weekend, not trusting the good times we've been having, backsliding a bit. I was feeling very down on myself for that yesterday, but I've figured out the best thing is to not dwell on the backslides and just get back on the horse.
You can't hurry love No, you just have to wait You got to trust, give it time No matter how long it takes
- You Can't Hurry Love (B. Holland/L. Dozier/E. Holland, Jr.)
Now, as to your last post.
I think you’re getting too hung up on the “rules.” There’s only one rule, and that is: “Do more of what works and less of what doesn’t.”
The ban on OR talks is not a rule. It’s something that works, particularly in situations where one person has given up on the R.You’re in the enviable position where your H is willing to make a go of it. His knee-jerk reaction to your expression of your needs isn’t as telling as what he did after sober second thought.
He understands that you have needs, and he’s willing to make accommodations. Of course, that doesn’t mean that you should overwhelm him with a litany of needs. It just means that he’s open to them.
OR talks fail miserably if your intention is to sit down and fix everything at once. It’s too much. When the timing and mood is right, OR talks can be helpful for finding out what your H wants and needs, and letting him know your needs. OR talks that turn into finger-pointing exercises will also fail miserably.
But exchanging information about each other is a good thing. Like you said, it’s uncomfortable at first, so you hafta keep it short and positive.
PMA (yours and his) is of the utmost importance right now. You can improve his by keeping yours. If you can stop dwelling in the past, he’ll follow your example.
We all feel like newbies when things change. Your H’s attitude is changing, so you have to change with it.
