Problem is, I can SEE what attitude/perspective I should be aiming for, but I'm having a really hard time LIVING it. (Gee, maybe he is having the same problem ???) I am still feeling afraid and angry. That's a direct result of the really great days we had last week. I started to trust a little and enjoy him and now I have a hard time thinking "I can do without this".
Unfairly, I'm also angry that HE can't seem to keep perspective - he's asked me not to contact him for a couple of days so he can get his breath, but I have zero confidence that he isn't already packing his bags. Here, I've been the one threatening to walk (in the last few days), and I know I would be really upset if it were him doing that.
All comes back to ...how do you build trust and let it BE built? How do you protect the little amounts of good when it's just starting to happen so that you don't trample over it at first sign of trouble ?
Look for the baby steps. Patience. Catch him doing more right. Focus on the positives, instead of the negatives. Keep doing what works.
Hmmm. Maybe I do know this stuff. Time to actually DO IT.
