Thanks for thinking of me! I think I've fallen into a bit of a (comfortable, but not) rut. I haven't been thinking about DB'ing a lot, lately, although I'm keeping up with the biggest of my GAL actions - going to the gym, going out with friends, etc. Even last night, I went out with my best friend to a bar and saw Will Makar (was on last season of American Idol) perform. He gave me the option of that or a strip club - I chose that because (1) I didn't have any cash on me, and (2) I have to be the right mood for a strip club. With that said, I've only been to a strip club maybe 6 or 7 times in my life... but, he and I had been joking about telling our wives we were going to the movies, but do that instead. But, damn can it be expensive!
I also somewhat hadn't been posting because I wasn't sure if anybody was reading (me just being self-pitying more than anything). I need to keep journaling... but, I just kind of hit a point where I wanted to rest from everything. Not that I really got any rest - still dwelling on the A and letting it get to me entirely too much. I actually haven't been to the gym in over a week, and I think that's getting to me - will be going tomorrow night, thank goodness.
It's been some time since that R talk W and I had, in which I said I was going to start calling MCs. Well, I haven't picked up the phone once to do so. I think I'm afraid that if we start seeing an MC, there's no going back. I feel it could be the first in a series of good steps, but it could also be the first in a series of bad steps from which there is no return. I think I've had three opportunities since that talk, about an hour each, to actually try contacting MCs - work has been way time consuming. Meanwhile, things at home stay weirdly facade'ish - we're just actors in a play, ignoring the big elephant in the room. I think, more than anything, I'm going to have to get W to an MC to talk about anything.
