Met W's parents for dinner tonight. Dinner turned out really nice. Nice conversation, nice food, nice company - just nice time all around. Quite some time ago, I figued out something about myself. If I'm in a group and paired with someone (be it my gf, friend, or W), I tend to let that person dominate our end of the conversation. But, when I'm alone, while I don't necessarily "talk up a storm", I talk a heck of a lot more. I'm not much of a conversationalist, having not had much in the way of social interactions until more recent years. But, if you get me alone, I'm more liable to hold up my end of the conversation, as long as I'm comfortable with you. Not too long ago, I finally got comfortable being around my in-laws. They're good people, and they have good things to talk about. I've now had maybe a handful of times that I've been alone or relatively alone with them, and it's always been good because I've been able to talk to them in the way that I want to talk to them. But, bring W around, and W COMPLETELY dominates the conversation. With her parents, it's the worst (I think b/c she spends so little time with them and gets frantic) - but, it comes out in most other situations. It's bad enough that she'll talk right over me. She recently even made a comment that since taking ADHD meds, she's gotten rid of one bad habit - talking over people. But, she still does it to me. BUT, I think it's because I've gotten to where I just don't talk, or I let her talk over me. Now, one of my goals is to not let that happen - but, at the same time, not be too aggressive about it and start talking over her or others.
I half expected my in-laws to ask about how W and I are doing, since W told them we were seeing an MC (which we weren't, and still aren't... not sure why she lies like this to them). But, nothing even remotely like that came up, which was probably for the better. But, still, in my mind, I half expected one of them to ask "Is <W> having an affair?" and maybe even "Is <W> having an affair with <OM>?", since they're fully aware of OM's existence and her unnaturally close friendship with him. So, I'd tried to prepare myself to answer that question... but, never really did prepare for it (how can you?). I think I *wanted* them to ask, although I don't think I've thought through the consequences of them really knowing. But, in the end, I think W is right about one thing - they have a stance of non-interference (which, side note, makes me believe she brought up the MC thing with them out of the blue). BUT, damn... they were so incredibly happy that I'd asked them to meet me for dinner - "It's so great to have a son-in-law that thinks about us!" (verbatim what my MIL said). If they like me that much, and they want us together that much, and they want this family to stay together that much, then why don't they stick their noses in a little bit more? Sorry, just pondering how folks external to this affair see things and act (or don't act) to try to correct them. Had a nice dinner tonight with two people I love very much, and should leave it at that.
