Had my first dream/nightmare about the A last night - at least, the first I remember after waking. I hope to not have many more of those. Talk about waking up in a "mood". I think I've been saved from a lot of not-wanting-to-get-out-of-bed type depression by the fact either I'm not dreaming about the A or just not remembering my dreams. I don't remember many details, but I do remember I was constantly running away from my W, who wasn't actually chasing me - I just wanted to get as far away from her as I could. Then, I found a sympathetic female ear, who also happened to be married (might have been OM's wife at various points, but not all the time), and we started to fall into an EA immediately. Harkens back to onlytime's thread about retaliatory affairs. Even though this EA was kicking off, and I knew I should stop, I couldn't stop myself. The dream ended before it progressed further than anything emotional. So disturbed by how easy it was to slip into the EA. I know, it's just a dream, and I wouldn't necessarily do the same in real life, but you know how tough it can be getting rid of those post-waking feelings.
In other news, W should be back from out of town today. Weird feeling things that happened. She called me yesterday late afternoon, after she'd gotten back from the dig, and we had a good chat, although brief. Then, she called me later that night, and we had a rather lengthy chat. Nothing really consequential, but very amicable. The weird thing about it all was that I still VERY much suspect OM came down to stay with her just the couple of nights she'd be there. I knew she had a school paper she was also going to have to work on while there, so her time was going to be pretty full. She called me around 1am this morning, needing a favor. She couldn't get dialup working from the hotel, so needed me to send the teacher's aide an email asking for forgiveness and she'd send it from Starbucks in the morning. Again, I just can't sync up my still heavy suspicions OM is/was there and her having all this other stuff going on, plus the lengthy (and good) phone conversation we had. Just regurgitating/journaling thoughts - not dwelling on it, too much, but hard to detach from this fully.
Mom's over helping take care of the girls and is cleaning our house madly - I think I should go help.
