GH: Surprisingly, that made perfect sense. It's amazing how many fine lines we have to walk.
I had my fourth C session today. My C isn't a bad C, by any means - she's really helping me see things in myself and in my actions, and suggesting ways to change them and better myself. But, she keeps suggesting I talk to W about the A. She did bring up one of my biggest fears, and that is that W has compartmentalized the A and our R so distinctly, that she'll keep on going without bringing up the A as long as I let her. "Having her cake and eating it too," is what my C said repeatedly. I really see no change in my W - I really think that she hopes to keep both relationships going... but, I've heard her say otherwise when snooping (eg. "if/when I divorce", "walk away from this marriage", etc). It's just so bizarre to have a good and fun family evening with her, but have her getting her initimacy and friendship needs fulfilled elsewhere. Heck, I probably just summarized what every LBS on this board feels. But, is it really this usual for the WS to give absolutely no indication of talking about the A - to go on as if d-day never happened? She hasn't brought up the A, hasn't mentioned us working on our R, and I have every indication she won't until the next time she's liquored up.. This freaking elephant is killing me.
In the meantime, I had an old friend hit me up for hanging out tonight (W actually contacted him, I think). At least I'll be doing something. I'm half tempted to tell him what's going on, but I shouldn't drag one more person into this. Besides, I should concentrate on having a good time, and not on the A.
RC
P.S. Loaned my C copies of DB and DR. I keep describing DB so wrong to her - hopefully she gets it and agrees with the methodology enough to help me work it, or at least enough to not hinder me and suggest things counter.
It's amazing how many fine lines we have to walk.