Quote: Oh, certainly, the significance of the things I'm hiding is so much less than what she is hiding, but I've had very little to be secret about until this A came around. Further, I now have to be "mysterious" to make her wonder about me. Sometimes it feels like fighting deception with deception.
Ok, here's the thing, you are doing all this in reaction to HER, not really because you want to for your own reasons. You don't HAVE to be deceptive, just like you don't HAVE to be an open book either. There IS a middle ground.
As for now having to be "mysterious" to make her wonder about you, well, that is MUCH more about just DOING things and not talking about them all the time. If you are like me, you probably used to CONSTANTLY check in with your W, or even if you didn't, she probably knew where you were most of the time, right. Well, all you are doing now is just living your life without that need to check in. YOU ARE NOT BEING deceptive in doing that. You are simply not getting her to sign off on your life anymore. BTW, if she asks what you are doing, or what you are reading, just tell her if you want to. There is no sense in making yourself uncomfortable doing something that you don't want to do, i.e. lie to her. Fact is that she is unlikely to ask you very much about what you are doing and it's mainly YOUR need to let her know that is messing with you.
Trust me, this part was VERY hard for me but I found out VERY quickly that it not only made me feel like I was more in control of my life, but it DID get W's attention and all of a sudden SHE was faced with wondering what I was up to, even though she know perfectly well that all she had to do was ask.
