I had my third IC visit today. Our first session was basically me offloading my sitch, with a little discussion of my past - no new realizations or much helpfulness, but identified that I've had this sort of low lying depression throughout my life (again, nothing new). Parting comment was I should stop snooping. Second session, we got a bit into my passive-aggressive behavior. I certainly feel like this has had a negative impact to my past and current relationships, including my marriage. I hope to focus on this more throughout the sessions, as I feel it will have the most positive impact on all my relationships, not just my marriage. During the second session, we also discussed my on-going snooping and she suggested I ask W to change her email password. I said I'd rather try to stop on my own, because I hadn't even tried, yet. So, I set a goal to stop snooping on the day of my next session, which was today, and so far so good.
That brings us to today's session, from which I need the kind advice from you folks. Our primary focus in this session ended up being that I should spill the beans on what I know, how I know, and how it is affecting me. That's paraphrasing, and I'm working off of deteriorating memory. IC said I should tell W about having been reading her email, knowing about the trip, the cell phone, and a couple other things; and, that no matter how much it has all hurt, no matter the pain and anger I'm feeling, I still want to work on the M. She said I should say that W doesn't have to respond, but that I just need to get some things "out on the table". Her concern is that there's an "elephant in the room that nobody's talking about", and I'm going to keep this stuff bottled up inside until it blows up in a typical passive-aggressive way. My concern is that this would basically be me bringing up the A - a no-no from what I'm reading here. Is this idea of putting stuff on the table, or just getting it off my chest a good or bad idea??
If I do come forward on my snooping, I won't be doing so until after my next IC session, which is a week from this Friday. I just so don't feel ready. W hasn't mentioned ANYTHING about the A, except tonight she mentioned the original MC her IC (for ADD) recommended - we both thought that MC was likely a nutjob, so didn't bother setting up an appointment, and haven't discussed it much since - it was in the context of her telling her IC the MC is a nutjob at their appointment today. But, other than that brief mention, nothing about *going* to an MC, or about the A. So weird. Maybe I'll have to get us drunk again. :P
