Hello everyone. Remember me? Separated 4 + years, no contact. H. filed for divorce two years ago. Around Easter time, found out that h. is living with suspected OW--this is the first concrete proof that he had OW, even though I had a lot of puzzle pieces before that.
Well, the divorce is final. I had been out of town and when I came home on Monday, the papers were int he mail. We would have been married 35 years on June 5. It is still so unbelievable and sad to me. I knew it was coming, but the finality of it all still has a sting to it.
He said he is planning on marring OW as soon as divorce was final and he was getting frustrated that it was taking so long. I did not do anything to hurry things along, since I think divorce, especially in this case is so wrong. In the beginning I asked my lawyer to drag it out as long as he could (in hopes that the time would make my h. reconsider). The time factor did play a part in the settlement. My h. was so anxious to finally get it all over with that he gave me everything I requested. At the time I made my proposal, I didn't know about his living arrangements, nor of the fact that he was living with OW, or I would have asked for more monthly maintenance. But I am thankful that I got to keep my house and the lake property free and clear.
So it's over. Do I feel relieved? In a way I feel a relief that I don't have to dread coming home and finding a letter from the lawyer or a message about these matters.
I have such a mixture of feelings. I hate the fact that SHE will have the same last name as me. I hate the fact that he has done nothing to repair relationships with our kids. We have two new grandchildren on the way, but he doesn't see the two we have very often.
My daughter told me last night that she is dreading Father's Day because she doesn't want to see him. She said she and her sibllings know he is so wrapped up in OW and his own life he does not care about any of them. They are also sad and angry. They have lost a dad, yet they say they are more comfortable at family gatherings without him. They evidently have already talked about whether or not they will attend his wedding if they are invited and they have said the will not go.
Well, I know I'm rambling, but just wanted to update. I'm staying very busy to keep from doing too much thinking, but I did get a case of "What if I had...." last night that my daughter had to talk me through.
Lib, I read your post and am so glad things went well for you. Any call yet? I'll call you soon. I am still working this week, but next week things will be winding down for the summer.
