Update to my GF telling me that she had no desire for sex.
We were supposed to talk more the next day but she wouldn't open up and gave me very little to work with. I made some suggestions but with out her feed back it seemed pointless.
I carried alot fo resentment with me for the last two days and this whole thing felt like a pink elephant in the room that no one wanted to talk about.
We ended up drinking a bunch of wine and getting cuddly etc...last night and right as I was initiating sex she said like she wasn't ready...or wasn't into it or somthing along those lines and I got really angery. I ended up really letting her have it and got a lot of stuff off of my chest.
I let her know every thing that was on my mind to the very last detail. She gave me some feedback and we were fighting/discussing late into the night. After more talking today we are implamenting a new system in hopes of fixing our sex life.
Overall she says she likes sex during the act, but she never has desire to start sex, and initiating is our biggest hurdle. So in hopes of fixing this we started a calender for the month of June and scheduled days to have sex and assigned days to each other to initiate.
I actually think this is going to help alot for several reasons. Our rules are that on her days she has all day to initiate sex and she can do it any way she wants when ever she wants. I feel like this system will help clear any problems with initiating and also give her ample time to mentally prepare for the situation. We posted the calender on our wall so we both can see it and we will be able to shedule time as needed.
Another reason this will help us is that on off days niether of us have to worry about sex so there is not anxiety over what the other person is thinking, I can be nice and romantic to her with out her thinking it is only for sex. She can relax and not worry about if I am mad, want sex, etc...
Overall I feel like this system will clear away alot of emotional hurdles. I feel that after it is implemneted we can work on her desire issues and passion issues with out all of the problems like initiating, and anxiety over what each other are thinking etc...
