I just want to post and wish you the best of luck. I've kept track of your journey for quite a while and I think you're doing great!
I second JJ's thoughts on just saving the OR talks for joint counseling. I kept on that track for a long time and it eventually helped H feel much more comfortable with me.
Then it doesn't make them feel like they're waiting for the bomb to drop every time they see you (ha ha funny analogy).
I didn't hold back in counseling but we were both ok with that becuase she was there to make sure we didn't back track or get stuck on an irrelevent topic.
In fact, a month ago H asked if we could get together before our joint session so we'd have a plan and after dinner together he started the conversation-a first!
Again best of luck to you and your h! You've worked hard and you'll be ok no matter what life dishes out to ya.
