10 days ago, I was not eagerly anticipating the Holiday. I prepared myself (with some trepidation and dread) for H spending it with ow to get closure and end things once and for all.
I kept very busy, which we all know here is the key to staying sane. I made my own Christmas as meaningful as I could given the circumstance, after all- that is my own responsibility. And it really wasn’t so bad…. I connected with friends and family (even my not-so-understanding parents). I had somewhere to be every day/ night. I spent some time putting photos into albums (a bit of a dumb idea considering) and baked bread from scratch one day. Since H was staying elsewhere for the holiday, I took the opportunity to go to our house and do a “cleansing” – sounds silly, but I burned dried Sage leaves in all the rooms as a way of getting rid of negative “vibes”.
I did not run into H and ow. (No opportunities to run her over, JJ ) I knew exactly where they were. Ok- I did drive by – once. I didn’t receive any calls from him, and though I expected that, it was not easy as the New Year crawled closer. I did feel a lot of anger at times. Yesterday, he started calling and leaving messages (sounds funny- I just wasn’t ready to talk to him yet). I waited a few hours and finally called back (he said he was prepared to call every hour until I picked up).
He says he has ended it and she’s not coming back, nor will she be calling. The Aliens had him in the tractor beam, but he didn’t let them take him. He still wants to get back together, said a lot of nice and well-intentioned things. We are planning to go away together this weekend for first time since we separated. I realize it will be a long long while before the shadows of doubt (and ow) are gone. H is still going to keep seeing his C, and I feel like I have to treat him a little like a wild animal- no sudden movements, consistent and cautious. It is very daunting, but I want a new and better R with him. I have not come this far to back down now.
Only thing is I don't know where to begin. Trying to be solution-oriented, I'm not sure what we should be focusing on first? We're a little nervous around each other and there are so many little landmines...it's a pretty daunting place to start... Any ideas out there? Maybe this is some kind of DB amnesia ???
) I knew exactly where they were. Ok- I did drive by – once. I didn’t receive any calls from him, and though I expected that, it was not easy as the New Year crawled closer. I did feel a lot of anger at times. Yesterday, he started calling and leaving messages (sounds funny- I just wasn’t ready to talk to him yet). I waited a few hours and finally called back (he said he was prepared to call every hour until I picked up). 
