Quote: The best piece of advice I ever gave anyone about marital trouble was after I learned it the hard way. I asked a friend what his wife was looking forward to. It was rhetorical, because if the answer was "nothing", he had a problem. If it was "I don't know", he had a problem. It sounds demeaning if you look at it from only one direction, but if you think of a marriage as an opportunity for BOTH people to make sure the other has something to look forward to, things could work pretty damn good, don't you think? And bluntly, few men need that as much as women, and as a result they don't even think about doing it - they think (naturally, don't you think?) that if they work their butts off doing for YOU what makes them happy, you'll appreciate it and be happy. In fact, you'll be bored to death, emotionally starved, snippy and unpleasant, waiting for something to happen that ain't gonna happen.
I agree 100% with this. In fact, I discovered it before my W even said anything...she still hasn't but I know it to be true. I discovered it because I bought her concert tickets (first time in YEARS) and the months leading up to that concert were, well, more exciting. Sure, it was not really that big a deal but it WAS something to think about other than the daily grind and that made a HUGE difference, at least with me, and I would imagine with my W.
The trick is to keep it going, to ALWAYS have something on the horizon. I think that's why my W is alway so much happier around the holidays; because she has so much to look forward to and doesn't have to live in the murk in her head.
