JJ, I want to wish you (and everyone here) a wonderful Christmas, it is so well deserved- you have worked so hard ! I don’t know if you’ll be around this week (I will be), but enjoy!
“Do you mean like how I almost ran into om last week?! “ )(JJ)
Yes, I could only hope to have an opportunity just like that J Seriously, I am preparing and I am very aware of who is the bigger person.
“Careful of the "information gathering" (ok, snooping)… be preapared to deal with the consequences. Avoid comparing yourself with her. There IS no comparison. You are the better woman for trying to save a marriage.” (JJ)
You are right, JJ. It is wrong, plain and simple. Doesn’t this stuff make expert detectives out of all of us? Every piece of paper could be some valuable missing piece of “information”, but can also make us almost ill. When I did this again recently- it was at a time when I felt strong enough to deal with the feelings. It is such a good step for me to choose NOT to do things like that when I know I am feeling weak and need to take care of myself or feel close to H. I am very happy for my own new wisdom about that.
“Glad your H is doing all the C'ing. Hope he gets a lot out of it. Be supportive of him with this.” (JJ)
Yes, I am thanking all the powers in the universe that he’s finally found a C who is really helping him. He has promised himself (and me) that he will keep seeing her until he is ready to stop and THEN some J It actually feels like we’re working as a team this week. H and I had a talk about OR and Christmas. As I expected, we came to the sad conclusion that I won’t likely see him because of his commitment to break up with OW and get closure. This is no fun, to say the least. I tried to be strong. He is really sad about this too. C was pleased about my willingness to do whatever it takes, by giving the space and grabbed onto this and is helping him set his goals, which seem to include me more than before. As the week has gone on, he’s gotten more motivated for us to be together. I have to admit, my patience and weary DB spirit is being really tested by this, but it has never been more clear that it is working to bring us closer. And that is still my goal.
Whew, another long one… It won’t be an ideal Christmas, but the New Year coming is looking brighter. (Wow, even with what's going on, look at all my smilies- I'm doing better than I think !)
